A reader wrote: I'm troubled by my continued dependency on my parents. Although I'm in my mid-30s and have a decent job, my parents still provide me with financial support now and then. I'm worried that all of us--my parents and me--are having trouble cutting the apron strings.

Drs. Bornstein and Languirand respond: We agree-accepting financial support from your parents at this point in your life may be a symptom of unhealthy dependency. If you genuinely need a financial boost and your parents are in a position to provide it, then fine……no problem. But if you accept money from your parents out of habit and reflex--just because you "always have"--it might be time for a change.

As we suggest in HEALTHY DEPENDENCY, the first step toward cutting those apron strings involves looking inward: Is accepting money from your parents a way of staying connected with them, or perpetuating your old childhood role within the family? Is it part of a trade-off where they then expect certain things from you in return for their "investment"? Once you understand your motives, you can begin to wean yourself from unhealthy habits. You may discover--as our readers often do--that giving up the old childish connection frees you up to develop new, healthier relationships with Mom and Dad.

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